


How Stiles beat loneliness

by unicornfluff



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Stiles Stilinski, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confused Derek, Confusion, Denial of Feelings, Desire, Drunk Derek, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Derek, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Stiles, One Night Stands, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Pining, Post-Season/Series 04, Post-Series, Season/Series 04-05 Hiatus, Sex, Slow Build, Unresolved Sexual Tension, sterek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-28 19:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2744897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornfluff/pseuds/unicornfluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lost boy finds a home.<br/> </p><p>  <i>"Derek moved closer and Stiles could smell the alcohol in his breath."</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So the desert wolf killed Malia and Peter hunted her down and now Peter is living with Derek.  
> Post-season 4 fanfic.

Stiles was lonely.  
Everything's been fine these past couple of weeks. It's been 3 months since Malia's death. He was pretty shaken up especially the first month or so but so was everyone else. His friends, mostly Scott, helped a lot. They all had helped each other cope with grief. Now that Jackson is back, Lydia is happy too. And they all hang out together all the time. Plus Liam and surprisingly, Danny. Actually those two seem to like each other a little bit too much. And Scott's mom comes to dinner too sometimes. Anyway, now it seems like everything is back to normal. Not exactly like it used to be but as normal as it could be. Everyone's settled down and every loss they had gone through brought them all closer together. Which is good. 

But Stiles is lonely. He was pretty devastated at first. But now he is fine. He doesn't shut himself off from people. He is okay but he's lonely. He has been for the past 2 months or so but tonight it really hit home. They were at a big-ass summer party at Lydia's place and pretty much everyone they knew from school and around were there. It was a cool party but Stiles initially didn't wanna go, yet he convinced himself that he isn't depressed anymore and it's good to have fun and all his friends are gonna be there anyway. But he felt so alone at the party. At first it was fun but then everyone had their girlfriend/boyfriend stuff to do and Stiles was left out. 

He was feeling out of place and started wandering around the crowds with a drink in his hand. He wasn't drunk yet but he's feeling a slight buzz and he liked it. He sat down somewhere to finish his drink and it took a while before his eyes caught someone who looked even more out of place and lonely than he was. It was Derek. Derek Hale. Stiles figured that Lydia must've felt sorry for him since he hasn't been hanging out with anyone much and he even ignored Peter and so invited him. But he is surprised that Derek actually came. He was debating whether he should go talk to him or not when the guy noticed him and came over to sit next to him looking all fresh and hot. Stiles took a shaky breath and smiled. Derek looked relieved to see a familiar face. 

"Hi!" Stiles said.  
"Hey"  
"Surprised to see you here!"  
"Well, I was bored and Peter insisted."  
"Having fun?"  
"Please," Derek smirked, "do I look like I'm having fun?" he said while leaning over to put his elbow on the sofa next to Stiles's shoulder.  
It took a moment before Stiles could breathe. He managed a grin.  
"Are you?" Derek asked.  
"Am I what?"  
"Uh having fun?" Derek looked confused, his eyebrows knitting together and lips pouting all adorably.  
"Oh yeah, I mean it's a cool party." Stiles laughed nervously and took a sip from his drink. What the hell is wrong with him.  
"Yeah I guess." 

Both were silent for a while. Stiles was trying to get his thoughts back together. After a while, Derek shifted.  
He looked somewhat abashed as well, "So I should head back. Have some things to take care of." 

"Oh yeah sure. I'll see you around then. It was nice to seeing you, dude you need to get out more." 

Derek smiled. "Yeah, nice meeting you too Stiles." 

Stiles just stared. Open mouthed. It was five minutes after Derek had left that he could form a coherent thought. He didn't know what was happening.  
When did he develop a major crush on Derek Hale? Sure, Stiles had always thought he was hot. But when did he ever think that he had a chance? This is stupid. He was just lonely. He cleared his mind an emptied his cup.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek moved closer and Stiles could smell the alcohol in his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Malia's dead.  
> Stiles has a crush on Derek. But he sees no hope.

The next day, Stiles was over at Scott's place video games. They played one and Stiles was setting another one up when Scott interrupted him.

"Hey! Did you hear that Derek was at the party yesterday?"  
"Oh yeah, I saw him." Stiles said, casually.  
"I should've talked to him. But Kira and I were talking and doing stuff and we lost track of time."  
"Doing stuff?" Stiles smirked.  
"You know what I mean." Scott huffed. "Anyway, did you get a chance to talk to him?"  
"To who?"  
"Derek! Did he seem okay?"  
"Yeah, we talked a bit. He seemed fine. Why?" Stiles was starting to get annoyed.  
"Well, none of us have seen him in a while. He is avoiding everyone and we're just worried. Did he say why he came?"  
"I think Peter forced him."

"I think you guys should hang out" Scott said, suddenly.  
"Wait, what? Why?" Stiles didn't like where this is headed.  
"I mean, you both don't have anyone to hang out."  
"Yeah, whatever man. I don't think he'd like hanging out with me. Let's play this."  
Scott was silent after that.

Stiles was feeling ridiculous about his encounter with Derek yesterday. He didn't like how Derek had left him flushed after a quick talk and he didn't want to admit to the fact that he stayed up thinking about the guy. Okay, maybe he did more than just thinking.

On his way back home he stopped at the mall to pick up some food items. He was halfway back through the parking lot when someone grabbed his elbow from behind.  
"Wha-? Oh Derek?"  
"Hey Stiles."  
"Hey!" Derek was carrying two grocery bags that looked heavy.  
"So, uh Cora's back in town. Peter wanted to welcome her over dinner tonight. He said to invite all you guys."  
"Oh that's great! How is she?"  
"She's fine. So you can give the message to eveyone, right? Scott, Lydia, Liam, Parrish, your dad, all your friends..?"  
"Yeah, sure. I'll tell 'em."  
"Great. See you tonight then."

Stiles tried not to look too excited as he got out of his jeep at the Hales' place.

Everyone was there. It was nice seeing these people after a while, apart from his friends he see every day. He saw Derek sitting next to Peter and Cora. He wasn't laughing or talking but Stiles could see that he was relaxed, his muscles didn't look so rigid in that tight t-shirt. Stiles looked away. He noticed Scott coming his way.

"Yo Scott, did my dad say it's fine if we drink tonight?"  
"Yeah, I think, it's Friday anyway."  
"Cool."

He took a beer and sat next to Scott who was sitting next to Lydia. They were discussing something about werewolves and their anchors, Stiles paid little attention. He spent the night mostly eating and drinking while listening to his friends babble. Not to mention trying not to stare at Derek. It a got a little wild after dinner, and people actually danced around, drunk. Finally, when Mrs. McCall decided it was time to call it a night and dragged Scott home, Stiles decided he should at least now go talk to Cora. It was rude not to. Cora was explaining something to Derek using her hands, and they were both grinning like crazy. Which indicated that they were drunk. They both looked at Stiles as he approached them.

"Hey Stiles!" Cora said with a widespread smile. "Hey Cora! Nice to see you."  
Stiles couldn't help grinning widely as he sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulder. Cora giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Jesus, do you two need a room?" Derek asked, rolling his eyes.  
"He's not my type and you know that." Cora winked at Derek and stood up.  
"Okay Stiles, we have some serious catching up to do tomorrow. But now I'm gonna go drink some more." Cora danced her way to the kitchen. "Should she be drinking like that?" Derek laughed.

Stiles was still trying to comprehend the fact that Derek just laughed when he realized that Derek was staring at him.  
"What?"  
"Dude, I just asked if you knew where your dad was?"  
"Oh, he went back to his office I think, said he had some paperwork." said Stiles, stupidly, as he realized he'd been staring.  
"Hmm." Derek was looking at him but he sound distracted.  
"So..tonight was fun!"  
"Yeah. Wanna make it even more fun?"  
Stiles gulped. "What do you mean?"  
"C'mon let's dance." Derek dragged him to the spot where Lydia and Parrish were trying some crazy dance moves.  
"You're really drunk. You know that right?"  
Stiles started doing his own crazy moves while grinning up at Derek.  
"I would not be doing this if I wasn't drunk too." Stiles said as he grabbed Derek's shoulders to get him dancing.  
Derek nodded to the beat as an answer to Stiles' question. Then he started dancing as well.

They lost track of time. Suddenly they weren't just having fun. Derek moved closer and Stiles could smell the alcohol in his breath. Derek's hands were suddenly around his neck. He was feeling light headed trying to understand what was happening, how close Derek was to him. A tiny voice in his mind told him that he should probably be in panic right now, that he was going to regret this. But he was too drunk and feeling the moment and he wasn't going to let some stupid voice ruin what he was feeling. No, not just him. He could see his emotions mirrored on Derek's face. Dopey-happy eyes, smirky lips and flushed-red cheeks. Ah what the fuck, they won't remember any of this by tomorrow anyway. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?  
Stiles thought as he moved closer to Derek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I hope you like where this is headed.  
> Please leave your ideas, opinions in the comments.  
> Thanks!
> 
> Sterek is love.  
> Sterek is life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The perfect drunk one-night-stand. Or so he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets all hot & steamy from here.

Derek was kissing him.  
Stiles' brain melted into a puddle near his feet and he wasn't aware of what's happening in the world around them. All he knew was Derek's lips, smashed up against his, making him feel all sorts of things. He could taste Derek's tongue, sliding around his mouth. Stiles entangled his fingers with Derek's soft hair and pulled him closer, making Derek even more hungry for him. He could feel Derek's hands squeezing his ass and he pushed himself up, grinding against the wolf, feeling his hard dick brush upon his own. Derek groaned and Stiles could've cummed there on the spot. Derek started trailing his lips down his jawline to his neck and Stiles gasped, breathing hard with his eyes shut, his back against something solid.

They were in Derek's room. Stiles had no idea when, or how they got there. He was pushed up against the closed door. Derek was still nipping at his neck. Stiles started unbuckling Derek's belt and Derek tugged at Stiles' shirt. Stiles let go of Derek so that he could pull his shirt off. Derek dragged them to the bed and shoved Stiles so that he fell on his back.

"Derek, mmph-"  
He couldn't finish his sentence as Derek climbed on top of him and started kissing him again, with no less heat. Stiles completely forgot what he was saying. His hands were clutched behind Derek's neck. He let go and started trailing his hands down Derek's back until he reached the end of his top.  
"I can't believe you still have your shirt on!" He really couldn't.  
Derek looked up from the spot he was sucking at Stiles' neck.  
"I also can't believe this is happening." He really couldn't.  
Derek straightened up, pulled his shirt off and looked down at Stiles, still on top of him.  
"What, you don't like it?" He looked genuinely confused.  
Stiles couldn't emphasize enough how ridiculous that sounded.  
"Are you kidding?" He smirked. "Take your boxers off!"  
Derek flashed a grin that sent shivers through Stiles' spine and gave him one last kiss before he went back to stripping them off of their underwear.

* * * *

Stiles woke up to the delicious smell of coffee. He got out of the bed, unaware of the fact that he was only wearing his boxers and he was in the Hales' loft and walked out of the room following the smell of coffee. Cora was in the kitchen, drowsily fiddling with the coffee-maker and as Stiles walked in they both noticed each other and that was when they actually woke up.  
"Stiles? What the-?"  
"Oh shit!" Stiles suddenly recalled the previous night, although vaguely, and realized that this situation was awkward as hell. He just stared, open mouthed, trying to think of something to say to make this okay but got nothing in return. Cora's expressions changed from surprised to confused and to realization when she understood what's been going on.  
Then she decided that this was, in fact, hilarious.

Stiles just stood there, with a disbelieving look, for Cora to stop laughing.  
"Oh my god! I'm soo glad I'm back! Oh derbear has turned out to be quite a winner!" And then she laughed some more.  
"C'mon Cora. Just gimme some coffee." He was getting tired of this. He felt ridiculous for getting himself into this situation and he wished he woke up a little earlier so he could've sneaked out, but there he was, ruining a perfect one-night-stand. But he didn't care anymore, he just wanted to get the hell outta there. He gave up the urge to have a coffee and went back into the bedroom to find his clothes. He hoped that Derek wasn't around as he hastily got dressed while Cora still howled with laughter in the kitchen. Cora came into the living room as he was leaving and he glared at her.  
"What? Oh come on. Where are you going?"  
"Home."  
"Stiles, don't be ridiculous. Have some breakfast first."  
"I'm not hungry."  
"Aw look I'm sorry I laughed okay? And it was only because you were in your underwear in my kitchen."  
Stiles glared at her some more.  
"Come on!" Cora put her arm around Stiles and dragged him to the kitchen.

His mood lightened up a bit as they talked over some pancakes, but he immediately regretted staying when he heard someone come in the loft. Derek came into the kitchen, grumpy as ever, and started digging at the pancakes without looking up.  
"Talked with Deaton. Some stuff about druids. I don't know why Peter dragged me there. Can't believe I woke early just for that. I think Peter-" Derek stopped mid-sentence when he suddenly realized that Stiles was there.  
"Hey Derek." Stiles said, before it could get more awkward.  
"Oh hi, I didnt-, I thought-, I thought you'd be gone by now." Derek looked embarassed, but that got nothing on what Stiles was feeling at that moment. He couldn't think of a good enough response but thankfully, Cora jumped in.  
"He was, but I insisted that he stay for breakfast. We hadn't talked in so long." She said, carefully.  
"No-, yeah, that's great!" Derek gave a faint smile as he sat down with his pancakes and started eating without looking up from his plate once.  
Cora looked back and forth them and arched an eyebrow at Stiles. He decided that he'd had enough, he'd lost his apetite anyway so he put down his fork and cleared his throat.  
"So I should get going. Thanks for breakfast and it was great to catch up," he nodded at Cora, who smiled. "but I need to call dad and I'm actually supposed to meet up with Scott today and it's late already so.. I guess I'll see you guys around!"  
"Yeah," Cora gave him a hug. "see you around Stiles."  
Derek nodded at him from across the table and gave him a quick "Bye". His lips were curled up in a tiny smile but his eyes were composed, cautious and blank. Seeing that, Stiles felt like he's being gutted for some reason. He left the place in a hurry and took his phone out to call his dad. He saw that there were several missed calls from Scott and wondered how he was gonna explain all this to Scott. He pushed that thought away and dialled his dad's number. He paced around next to his jeep waiting for his dad to pick up the phone.  
"Hello."  
"Yo! Dad.."  
"Stiles?"  
"Yeah..listen, I totally fell asleep last night. I'm so sorry. I should have called."  
"Yeah, I figured. It's okay. Where are you now?"  
"I just got out of the Hales' loft. I had breakfast with them."  
"Good."  
"Okay, so I'm heading over to Scott's. I'll see you later.  
"See you later son."  
He dialed Scott's number as soon as his dad hung up. He picked up at the first ring.  
"Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you forgot!"  
"I didn't. I'm coming over now. Talk to you later."

He hung up before Scott could ask any questions. He got in the jeep and made a beeline to Scott's house. His mom was at work and Scott was already setting up the video game as he came in. Scott started questioning him thoroughly while they were playing and Stiles had no choice but to explain everything that happened. Scott just looked surprised.  
"Woah."  
"It was so embarassing dude."  
"You had sex with Derek."  
"I know. I'm so stupid."  
"You had sex with Derek."  
"Yeah. Shit I shouldn't have drunk so much."  
"Derek."  
"What."  
"No, I mean, Derek!"  
"Yeah I know, I couldn't believe it either. But it was just a one night thing, you know, we were drunk, it's not like he actually liked me."  
Stiles tried his best to hide the bitterness in his voice.  
"NO, that's not what I meant. He- You are totally-"  
"S'okay dude."  
"No, I'm saying that Derek doesn't seem like the kind of guy would do one-night-stands."  
"Yeah. well." Stiles shrugged.  
"Soo how was it?"  
"How was what?"  
"The sex?"  
"Oh my god. No. I'm not-, That's private."  
"C'mon. I usually don't even have to ask." Scott's brow furrowed. "Was it bad?"  
"NO! No. It was.. It was fine.  
"Okay. Obviously it was more than fine. I can see that grin you're trying to hide."  
Stiles gave up trying to hide it.  
"Well. Yeah. It was-, He was-, yeah.."  
"Oh my god you're blushing! I've never seen that happen before!"  
"I'm not blushing. You're crazy," Stiles turned back to their game. "and getting kicked in the ass."  
"Wait. Do you like him? You like him don't you?"  
"Scott are you losing on purpose? I thought I came here to engage in some serious gaming."  
Scott turned back to the game but there was a knowing smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put much more effort into this than to previous chapters. I hope it is better.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings? What feelings? Stiles hates feelings. Shut up.

"So what is this I hear about you and a certain grumpy werewolf?" asked Lydia the next evening, while sitting on her bed next to Kira, who was grinning now. Stiles threw an accusing glare at Scott, who just entered the room. "Lydia threatened me. I swear." Scott replied with puppy eyes. Kira giggled.  
"There's nothing to hear about. We just had sex once." told Stiles, turning back to Lydia.  
"But you like him." Lydia stated.  
"Oh my god stop. This is not funny Scott. What did you tell her?"  
"Nothing!" Puppy eyes, again. "I just told her that you might need advice. That's all."  
"Advice? About what?" Lydia looked at him with fake sympathy. "Oh honey.."  
"Ok stop. All of you. Just lay off my case!" Stiles yelled, throwing his hands in the air.  
"Seriously, this is getting old. And I do not 'like' him," He added quotation marks in the air. "whatever that means. I'm gonna go now."  
He stood up and left. Scott smiled at Lydia. "Told you."  
"Yeah he's got it bad." Lydia replied, nodding. "Aww.." cooed Kira, laughing.

Stiles tried to ignore how annoyed he felt at his friends as he pulled up at his place. His whole day had been tiring. He went through the fridge and found some leftovers. He went upstairs to have a quick bath while the food was heating up. It was already dark but he didn't care to turn on the light as he stripped himself off of his shirt and he was fiddling with the buttons of his pants when he noticed the dark silhouette of someone standing by his bed. Heart racing, he took a step back instinctively and his hand was searching for the baseball bat he kept beside the door. He knew he should call for help but his throat seemed to be malfunctioning. The intruder took a step back just as he found his voice.  
"Stay the hell away." He flung the bat at the guy.  
"Stiles," The intruder lifted his hands up and Stiles paused because he recognized that voice.  
He turned on the light and looked at the werewolf in disbelief.  
"Derek what the hell?"  
"I'm sorry. I just got here. I-" Derek staggered back one more step.  
"Have you ever heard of doors?" Stiles didn't know why but he was mad. He dropped the bat and went and plopped on his bed, not caring that he's half naked. He couldn't believe that this day could actually just got worse.  
"Stiles! I'm sorry. Would you just-?"  
"What you think you can come barging in like that when you need something? And completely ignore me the rest of the time? Who do you think you are anyway??"  
He knew he'd regret all this and Derek had done nothing to deserve this but he was too heated up to care.  
"Stiles. I'm hurt. I couldn't walk. Your house was the closest. I'm sorry."  
Only then did Stiles notice how Derek was leaning to his left and how pale he looked.  
"What?"  
As if on cue, Derek coughed painfully and started his way to the bed, trying to keep his balance. He sighed with relief mixed with pain as he sat down next to Stiles, as if it took all his energy to stay on his legs until then. Stiles' throat felt too tight and he felt sick to his stomach. He looked to see what's wrong with him, why he looks so beaten up, to find a way to reason with his panic. He finally noticed the end of an arrow sticking out of his back, carefully aimed at the heart. He seemed to have found his voice and he asked what had happened. He needed to know who did this. Derek had been running in the woods in his wolf-form, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious when he sensed the scent of something new, someone new. He had gone to see about it and the person shot him from back and left. Judging from the arrow and the fact that there was wolfsbane involved, the archer was probably a hunter of some sorts, only nobody knew of any hunting families nearby except the Argents. Stiles guessed the hunter may have been from another area and made a mental note to dig out if there were any other hunters anywhere other than the ones they knew. They discussed all of this on their way to Deaton's clinic, whom he had called when he realized that it was a wolfsbane coated arrow. When they finally pulled up at the clinic, Derek wasn't looking so good. He felt a sense of deja-vu as he hauled Derek through the clinic doors, helping him walk. Deaton helped him get Derek on the table and got right on to getting the arrow out of him. Stiles slowly backed off watching Deaton. He heard footsteps.

Scott entered the room, breathless and looking alarmed. "What happened?"  
"Some hunter shot him with a wolfsbane coated arrow. We don't know who. Sorry I didn't have time to explain."  
Stiles replied warily. He was sleep deprived and tired, but he was too stressed to even think about sleep.  
"Is he going to be okay?" Scott asked again, this time directed at Deaton.  
"I think so, but he'll be weak for a while. Wolfsbane has been in his system for too long, and it's spread because of all the moving around." Derek was unconscious, pale and weak. The image really didn't fit him and it had Stiles feeling nervous.  
"He should wake up soon." Deaton added, as if he knew of Stiles' distress. And he did wake up, an hour later as Scott was dozing off on Stiles' shoulder and Stiles was trying not to look at the time. Scott woke as soon as he heard Derek waking up.  
"Hey man, you okay?" Derek gave a grunt and nodded.  
"Did you get a look at the arrow? Any clues to find out who it was?" Derek asked.  
Typical Derek, Stiles thought, the bastard could be dying but he'd still find something to focus on other than himself. Scott seemed to agree.  
"We didn't really get a chance, had other things on our minds, like worrying about your life!" Stiles' sarcasm seems to be really rubbing off on Scott. Derek rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm fine now. Where is the arrow?"  
"Deaton has it. He said to call when you wake up anyway. I'll be back." Scott went back to his car to find his cell, leaving Derek and Stiles behind. Stiles knew he must look like shit, but he felt relieved, like letting go of a breath he didn't know he was holding. He just wanted a nice long sleep. Derek shifted on the table, trying to get up.  
"Don't. Deaton said you'd be weak for a while because the wolfsbane was too spread. Try not to move."  
"I can't stay here until I get better. Too uncomfortable. I need to go home and get some rest."  
"Just wait until Deaton gets here and then you can go." Stiles laid a hand on Derek's bare chest to stop his movements. Deaton had torn his shirt away to clean the wound and Derek's skin was soft, smooth and warm. Stiles felt blood rushing to his cheeks as he took his hand away and Derek tried to go back to sleep despite the hard table beneath him.

Deaton returned in a few minutes, and gave Derek the yes to go home and get some sleep under the condition to always have someone in the house with him in case he suddenly got worse. Ignoring his protests, Deaton told Scott to drop Derek off at the Hales' loft and tell Cora to keep an eye on him. After they left Stiles collected all the torn clothes and the dirty bandages. Of course, he had to be the one to clean up after practically saving Derek's ass today. He got home and jumped to bed, not bothering to change and fell into deep deep sleep.

The next morning, Stiles was awakened to the sound of his phone ringing he tried to ignore it for the first five rings but finally got up and answered the call which was from Scott. "Scott what the hell man?"  
"Uh sorry.. I know you were sleeping but we sorta need a favor?"  
Stiles' clock read that it was half past noon, and he sighed. "Yeah, sure, what are friends for. What do you need?"  
"I'm at Derek's place now, been here since morning but I promised to study with Kira and Lydia today. And Cora's out. So.."  
"So.. what?" Stiles' brain was still asleep and he had trouble grasping the issue here.  
"You're gonna have to babysit Derek for the evening." Since when does Derek need babysitting? Oh right, since yesterday. Stiles remembered. He heard an argument from the other side, "Scott, for the love of god, I don't need babysitting. I'm fine." Derek sounded 100% fed up, and Stiles almost felt sorry for the guy, having had to spend the whole morning with Scott. Almost.  
"Can you get here in an hour or so?" Scott's voice was back on the phone. Stiles looked at his bed longingly, and groaned. "Yeah, 'kay." This is gonna be so much fun, he thought to himself. "Thanks man." And the line went silent.

Stiles couldn't believe this. Derek was acting like a five year old- a very hot five year old- and Stiles is not known for his patience. "Derek, you're not supposed to leave the house. Why the hell do you need to go out for anyway?" He actually sort of understood, the guy needed his wolf time, running through the woods or something. But Derek wasn't listening, he was already in his room changing from his rags into something that doesn't have any blood stains. Stiles decided to start banging on his door until Derek answers. The door opened up suddenly, almost throwing Stiles off his balance and a very pissed-off looking and shirtless Derek appeared. "Scott was perfectly clear. You can't go put the house until Deaton says so."  
"Scott is not the boss of me. Nor is Deaton." Derek spit through gritted teeth. "And if you don't shut up I will tear your limbs apart." Derek looked dead serious.  
"Aw come on, I thought we were past this death threat stage." Stiles was making up stuff to say to keep Derek busy because he is not about to be responsible for anyone's possible death today. No way. "None of this is actually my idea, so stop taking it out on me. Just bear it for a few days and it'll be over! God, stop being such a baby." That last part really came from his heart, to be honest. Derek looked like he was seconds away from going full on alpha now. Breathing hard with his fists clenched, it was a scary sight. Stiles bit back the fear and thought he should take one for the team.  
He laid a hand on Derek's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "Derek, calm down." He said firmly. Today is not supposed to be a bad day and Stiles would go out of his way to make it stay so. "Derek, calm the eff down and get your wolfy ass back to the couch." He didn't care anymore, he himself had some rage he'd kept bottled up for the past few days. It might not be alpha werewolf rage but it certainly made an impression. Derek blinked. And Stiles suddenly remembered what he was doing. He wasn't sure what brought him back, but it probably had something to do with those eyes. In the moment of confusion, the usual shield of coldness in Derek's eyes left them and he looked human, almost vulnerable. Stiles thought about how pretty they would be if Derek didn't have to hate everyone all the time. It took him a couple of minutes to figure out that he was staring. Fortunately, Derek was too busy still trying to figure out what just happened with an adorable clueless expression on his face.

An hour later, they were sitting on the couch, watching the Avengers movie. They hadn't really had a full conversation since their argument, just awkward half-sentences and gestures and lots of eye-avoiding. Both had calmed down in an impressive speed though. Stiles is not the one to stay quiet for long and by now, he was itching to bring up something to talk about. He opened his mouth once or twice to say something, but he stopped himself when he saw Derek pointedly ignoring him and concentrating at the same point on the tv screen. But he knew he couldn't hold it off for any longer so he stood up and went to the kitchen. He started making coffee so that Derek wouldn't get suspicious and called Scott. He answered on the first ring. "What happened?"  
"Um Derek is not talking to me. You know I can't not talk. Find someone else to babysit him."  
Then he had to explain what happened and Scott actually congratulated him on keeping Derek in the house for so long and told him to wait a few hours and he'll be back. He told him to be nice and make Derek some coffee and it'll be fine. Stiles hung up the phone, sighed and took the two coffee mugs and went back into the living room.

"I made coffee."  
Derek nodded and took the mug without bothering to look at him. Stiles sighed in frustration. What's it gonna take to get a word out of this guy? Stiles sat on the edge of the couch and turned to him. Derek threw him a glance with one eyebrow raised, as if daring him to be brave enough to actually say something to him. And Stiles, well, he didn't like how he expected him to be too scared to speak up. So he spoke up.  
"You're seriously going to ignore me for the rest of the day?"  
"Or I could rip your throat out." Derek deadpanned.  
Stiles' mouth hung open in disbelief for a second. Then he thought about it and replied, "Okay, look. I'm sorry about yelling at you and stuff, I did exactly what I accused you of doing. I'm sorry okay. But the you being childish part is still true."  
"What's your point?" Derek looked like he was regretting all his life choices that led him to this moment.  
"My point?" Stiles tried to recall why he actually thought this was a good idea.  
"You do have a point right?" Derek demanded, looking into Stiles' eyes persuasively. 

Stiles did have a point, he must have, but he is having a very hard time trying to make his brain work while Derek's looking at him like that. Derek's thick eyebrows shot up as he watched Stiles stammer around. Stiles could not focus on anything but the guy sitting next to him, looking at him with unavoidable intimacy. Derek's nostrils flared slightly, and his eyes grew darker. Stiles didn't know what he was doing, but all the same he knew where this was headed. He knew Derek could hear his fastened heartbeat and smell his arousal. There was no lying to a werewolf. And if Derek knew what he was feeling and still didn't take off it should mean that Derek wanted it too. Stiles failed to see the reasons as to why and right now, he didn't care. He bit his lips and looked at Derek's eyes expectantly as if to ask him if he's really going to let the inevitable happen. Derek's eyes held a hazed expression, caught off-guard and beautiful. He stared at them for a second or maybe and hour, before kissing him slowly and softly. He pulled back to see Derek's reaction, but Derek tugged at the neck of his shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. It was slow but passionate and more intimate than before. It was the best kiss Stiles has ever had. And he wanted to stay there kissing Derek like that forever. Then he felt more panic than he'd ever felt as he realized what it meant. When he realized what he was feeling.

He's never been so scared. He remembered that drunk night, the first time this ever happened. He didn't remember it being as good as this just was but he knew how it ended. This was too good to be true. He didn't want to end up getting hurt. So he pulled back. Derek stared at his lips, breathing harshly and his eyes so fazed making Stiles resist the urge to hold him and kiss him and just keep him there all safe and sound. Derek's eyes traveled from Stiles' mouth to his eyes and his brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"  


"I- I just-" Stiles couldn't find the words. He was scared of getting hurt but he realized he was more scared of ruining this. Whatever this may be.  
"What is it?" Stiles had never seen Derek's eyes so wide and so vulnerable. He couldn't believe that it was him that had Derek looking like that. It was bizarre. He looked at his hands and thought for a moment before replying.  
"I don't want this to end up with you regretting it like that last time. And I don't want to just sleep with you."  
There was no reply. Stiles just went with the truth. He was as direct and straightforward as he could afford to be. He couldn't bare the silence anymore and he finally looked up, his heart beating like crazy. Derek was staring at him with an incredulous expression. Stiles was too afraid to think what it means so he waited. Before Derek could reply, they heard footsteps and the front door opened, revealing Scott and Kira. Kira looked sort of guilty and awkward when she saw that they interrupted something, but Scott walked right in, clueless as always. Stiles moved back and rested his back on the couch, feeling utterly exhausted for some reason.  
"Hey! I'm back." Scott greeted them cheerfully as he sat down on the floor in front of them. "We could hang out with Derek until Cora gets back. Your dad's gonna be mad if you didn't return anyway. You wanna have dinner with us before you leave?"  
Stiles shook his head. He was feeling like absolute shit. He wasn't sure why, but he felt worthless and pathetic. He just wanted to get the hell out of there and never return. Never to look at those eyes again. He couldn't bear to stay there in the presence of _him_ anymore. He just stood up and left, ignoring Scott's worried glances and Derek's deafening silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took guts. And some time too. 
> 
> "A writer is the sum of their experiences."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot gets a little twisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE ON THIS.  
> But I tried so hard, and I swear I am sorry.
> 
> I own a fandom account on instagram: @supersterekangels_ Follow me!

It's been a week.  
A week since Derek got shot by an arrow. A week since they kissed. A week since Stiles walked away to never look back.  
Let's just say that it hasn't been the best week of Stiles' life. But he isn't complaining because if he had to encounter Derek daily it would've been a lot worse.  
If it could even get any worse.

****

John was jerk awake by a sound from upstairs. He begrudgingly stood up from the couch he'd been napping on and went up to his son's room to see what it is now. He was aware of what a teenager's life is like these days. And usually he could deal with it just fine. But these few days his son has been taking it to a whole another level. He opened the door, not sure what to expect. "Stiles?"

It took him a minute for him to grasp what he was seeing. The book shelf which had been stacked top to bottom with various books that Stiles owned had been knocked over, crowding the whole room. But that's not the worst part. Stiles was lying there, caught between the shelf and the floor.  
For a second Mr. Stilinski didn't know how to breathe.  
"STILES?" No answer came. John hauled forward to get a better look at his son.  
He had been knocked unconscious by the impact of the edge at the top left corner of the shelf. And there was a slight gash on his forehead and it was bleeding. He tried wake Stiles up but he wouldn't respond. The shelf was resting on his chest and John tried to lift it up but failed, sighing frustrated-ly. He called an ambulance, not knowing what else to do. Then he remembered the confusing details about werewolves and their strength so he called Scott. He answered on the second ring. "Scott? Can you get here now?"  
"Anything wrong Sheriff?"  
"I need your help. Come quick."  
Scott got there in two minutes. Two agonizing minutes. It's like John's worst nightmare came true as he sat there beside his unconscious son, utterly helpless and scared. Scott stood beside the window for a milisecond before he took in the scene and lifted up the shelf in one take without letting any books fall on Stiles. He looked as terrified as John as he knelt beside the boy. "He is breathing and I hear his heartbeat. He is going to be fine." Scott said, trying to calm himself too. John heard the words as if from far away and nodded. They heard the sirens of the ambulance when Scott asked if they'll have to carry him to the hospital. They watched the paramedics came in and lift Stiles up onto a gurney and carry him in slow motion. Scott held John's hand as they sat beside Stiles in the ambulance and it started moving.

****

Derek has gone through so much shit in his life that you'd think he could handle a little heartache. But no, he'd been moping around so much in this past week that everybody got tired of him. Especially the werewolves, because they could smell all his negative energy. Cora and Peter were this close to kicking him out of his own loft. He hadn't seen Stiles in a week. This is probably the longest he'd gone without seeing him. They may never get along, but they always saw each other almost everyday because of pack business, so this is just hard for him. And he knew that Stiles is doing this because of Derek, that he's avoiding him on purpose because of what Derek did, or technically, what he didn't do. He wished he had the guts to tell the boy how he felt but it also felt selfish to try to keep him when Stiles could still have a normal life with a person he deserves. So he did nothing.

And he never really regretted stuff he didn't do as much as he regretted stuff that he did do, so he was as safe as he could get. Unhappy, but okay. That is, until he got a call from Scott.  
"Scott?"  
"Uh hey! Derek." Scott sounded weird. Well, weirder than usual.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Wha-? Who said anything was wrong?" Real smooth, Scott. Derek rolled his eyes involuntarily.  
"Anyone ever tell you you're a bad liar? Besides, you never call me unless you absolutely have to."  
"That is NOT true." Bullshit, Derek thought. "Get to the point."

Then Scott told him.

****

Stiles heard people talking. His dad sounded worried, but he had no idea why. He wanted to find his dad. But he couldn't see him. "Wh-" Words won't come out of his mouth, what is wrong with him? His dad sounded closer. "Stiles? Stiles? Son? Can you hear me?" He nodded and opened his eyes. He was lying in a hospital bed. His dad was beside him, while Melissa and someone else was standing by the door. He smiled at his dad. He felt all wrong and tired, but whenever his dad looked worried he would smile at him. He felt a sharp pain on his forehead and his face pinched. The person who was probably a doctor came over and asked how he felt. "What happened? M-my head."  
"You had a small accident. You're in the hospital. But you're going to be just fine."  
"Oh, the shelf." "Yes, it fell on you. It's good you remember that. I'm going to ask you some routine questions now. You can speak to all your friends when we're done."  
The doc took about 15 minutes and left, leaving him and his dad in the room. His dad came over, with a faint smile playing over his lips. "How're you feeling?"  
"I'm good." He smiled back.  
"It's a terribly stupid and clumsy accident. But I'm just glad that you're okay."  
"Yeah, I have no idea _where_ I got my clumsiness from!" He added sarcastically. John chuckled.  
Your friends are in the waiting room. You want me get them?"  
"Yeah, sure." Stiles said, expecting Scott. But a little parade of his friends appeared at the doorway, as if they were waiting for him let them come in (and as half of them were werewolves with supernatural hearing, they probably were).  
"Hey.. guys!" Stiles muttered a little awkwardly, earning some 'Hi's and nodds in return. Scott ignored his question and looked at him with a concerned look. "How are you feeling?"  
Stiles found that extremely insulting. "Hey don't look at me like that, the doctor checked my head, there's _nothing_ wrong with it. And you and your supernatural reflexes may find this sort of accidents absurdly stupid, but it is a completely normal accident that could happen to any human!  
Scott huffed a laugh. "Okay buddy! We're all just glad you're okay. When are they going to let you go home?"  
"In a couple of days." His dad answered for him.

He talked with them for a while. Scott, Lydia, Kira, Liam, Danny, Aiden, Cora and surprisingly, Derek. Stiles didn't notice him until his dad left to get something to drink. The little group moved to make way for the door and cowering at the back of the room, there he was. He must've known that Stiles saw him because he was looking down at the floor, his cheeks a deep shade of pink. Stiles looked away before others noticed his staring. He pretended to not notice him for the rest of the time. He had no other choice.

A few minutes later, a nurse suggested that they leave so that Stiles can rest. There were hugs and 'Goodbye's and more hugs. Then they were leaving, and at the back of the group was Derek. He hadn't talked with Stiles the whole time, they hadn't even looked at each other _at the same time_. But seeing him leave, made Stiles regret not talking to him. He was pretty certain he didn't want to talk to him before. But now, he wished that Derek said 'Hi' or even just looked at him once. Something inside of him yearned to look at those eyes once again. And just as Stiles started to look at the crappy tv in his room, he saw Derek's head turn. Derek looked at him, right in the eyes. And for that half a second Stiles was completely frozen, couldn't move or look away, like a deer caught in headlights. Then Derek turned his back and walked away.

****

In a few days, Stiles was back home. All things back to normal. Back to school and video games with Scott and novels and useless research on wikipedia and old boring stuff. He didn't see much of Derek at all since there were not much of supernatural stuff happening in town -which is a little strange to be honest -but hey, that's a good thing. This one evening, he was trying to convince Scott to watch Star Wars with him, because despite his promises Scott still had not watched it.  
"This is a disgrace!"  
"Aw c'mon Stiles. You have watched it a thousand times!"  
"That's NOT the point!"  
"Let's just watch something else."  
"No! I will endure this no more. I cannot have a non-Star Wars fan as a best friend! I'm offering you an ultimatum. You can either watch Star Wars and become a fan, or go find yourself a new best friend." Stiles' eyes blazed. Eventhough Scott knew that Stiles couldn't not be his best friend even if he tried, he pretended to actually consider the offer just to piss Stiles off a little bit more. But before Stiles could go into a rage, the door opened.

And a very confused looking Kira appeared. She looked like she didn't know what exactly she was doing here.  
"Uh hey.. guys! The sheriff let me in." Scott replied with a smile and nodded at the chair as an invitation. Kira entered the room looking around. Stiles squinted his eyes in suspicion as he realized how abrupt this sudden visit is.  
"Why are you here?" Stiles asked.  
"Hey, that's rude." Scott said and he looked at Stiles to check if he'd gone mad. But Kira's apologetic smile had way too much guilty in it.  
"You usually text when you drop by. How did you even know we are here? We're supposed to be at Lydia's today. We didn't even tell her that we were grounded yet." Ok now she looked really guilty.  
"Um yeah, allow me to explain." Stiles's glare hadn't dropped yet. Scott was watching them, open-mouthed.  
"Fine, Lydia put me up to this." Stiles' eyebrows drew dangerously closer.  
"So you remember that hunter right? That one who shot Derek a few weeks back?"  
"Sure, how could I possibly forget?!" Stiles replied, with dripping sarcasm.  
Kira rolled his eyes.  
"Well, apparently Derek managed to sneak up on another hunter from the same family yesterday. It's clear that they're both from the same hunter family because Derek says that their weapons bore similarity-"  
"And how did he figure _that_ out??" Stiles blurted out.  
Kira's expression was annoyed and unbelieving. "Jesus, I don't know. Maybe the guy shot at a rabbit for fun. That's not the point Stiles. Focus."  
That shut Stiles up.  
  
"And he was trying to find who they were by actually doing research. Lydia saw her in the library today reading an old withered book- a one that belonged to his family. She found this extremely strange because, well, he's not the one who usually does research for the pack, is he?" Kira looked at Stiles pointedly, and continued. "So she had been bugging Derek until he told her everything that I told you. And then she asked why he was the only one on it and kept insisting that he answer it until he finaly gave in. Lydia can be very insistent if you've noticed. He grudgingly admitted that he didn't want to involve all of us in supernatural stuff all the time because we have school to worry about. Which, Lydia thought was obviously stupid of him. Since when was he any good at research anyways? So then Lydia called me and explained the situation. She sent me here to get your lazy asses off the couch to help figure this thing out.

And then she paused. Trying to catch her breath after talking unusually fast and the two guys blinked, letting what they just heard sink in. A look of absolute horror took over Kira's face.  
"Oh my god. I was not supposed to tell you all that. Lydia precisely told me to _only_ tell you that we needed help figuring out who the hunters are. I don't even know why you're not supposed to know the rest. Oh god, she's gonna kill me. What do I do?"  
"Well, there's like a 5% chance that she might not get your ass for spilling." Stiles replied, trying to be helpful. But it's hard, considering the person they're referring to here.  
Kira looked even more terrified.  
"Sorry, I mean, c'mon what's the worst that could happen? Let's just go do some research!"  
Kira gulped while Scott nodded and Stiles followed them to his jeep. As he was walking, he wondered why Lydia would try to keep things about Derek from them. From _him_. Did she really think that just because it's sort of awkward between them now, Stiles wouldn't help him, or the pack, if needed?  
Stiles stopped his mind from going further into this matter and started driving.

"Oh good. You're here."  
"Hey, Lydia." Stiles said in greeting. The other two followed him inside the Hales' loft. Derek and Cora were there, but Peter was nowhere to be seen. He didn't really participate in pack business anyway. They started off by discussing about this new issue. And sharing everything that they already know about it. There was no sign of them being a threat to them yet, but Derek is convinced that eventually it will lead to that. So it was important to be prepared. They needed information about these hunters and what they were after. It went on like this, everyone brainstorming ideas and making strategies and thinking of ways to find details. They had searched and read through all the sources they had and came up with nothing. It has to be a new group of hunters because there are no old reports about them in the few Hales' books that survived the fire. In the end they had to reach the conclusion of finding more about a group of hunters through a group of hunters.

"This is a bad idea." Stiles said, optimistic as always.  
Scott and Derek rolled their eyes in unison. "Do you have a better idea?" Scott asked. Trying to be patient.  
"Well no, but can't we just research for a few days more and if we still got nothing, then ask for their help?"  
"We are not sure if we have a few days." Derek protested. "You can do a few days worth research by tomorrow morning, and we head to Mexico tomorrow."  
Stiles sighed. "Fine, road trip it is, then. But I'm riding shotgun."  
"What makes you think that you're going?" Derek deadpanned.  
"I say I'm going! It's my decision. I don't need _anybody's_ permission!" Stiles is practically yelling now. Derek glared. Scott is watching between them like a tennis match.

"The Calaveras are not werewolves. They're hunters, but still human. You need a human if you're going to talk business with them. Besides, werewolves aren't known for their communication skills. You could use someone like me." Derek's eyebrows shot up high at that final note.

"Derek, he's got a point." Scott added hesitantly. Derek honestly looked so disappointed in him. 

"Fine." Derek growled. 

 

*****

 

After a night of tiring and useless reading through ancient werewolf crap, Stiles falls asleep in front of the computer a few hours from dawn and was forced into consciousness as someone was poking into his shoulder rather painfully. 

"Ouch. Stop."

"Get up." It was Derek, he must've come in through the window.

"What time is it?" Stiles asked groggily, already planning to sleep the whole way to Mexico.

"Late. We already met at the loft. They wanted to let you sleep in because you were obviously up last night reading. So we went through our plan and they left. I came here to pick you up. Get ready, we can't loose more time."

Stiles nodded and got up only to trip over some clothes and fall over. Derek caught him by the front of his shirt before his face came into contact with the floor. "Thanks", he squeaked before he was pushed towards the direction of the bathroom.

In 10 minutes time, he was all ready and they got into the Camaro which was parked outside. Both of them has been mostly quiet which, for Derek is normal but Stiles felt extremely uneasy about it. This is going to be a long ride, and he didn't want it to be all awkward for the whole ride. 

As if reading his mind, Derek glared at him. 

"What?" Stiles shot back, innocently.

"You're fidgeting and you were trying to start talking. I don't want to listen to you babbling the whole way."

"I don't babble."

"Yes you do."

"Fine, then I'm going to take a nap instead." Stiles snapped and tried to make himself comfortable in the car seat. However he positioned himself, his spine would end up aching due to the way he slept the previous night. Which is with his head on his desk. He wondered whether they were going to make stops on the way because he would not be able to just sit in the car for about 30 hours  _without talking_. Or peeing. 

Derek looked over for a second and after a moment's hesitation, said "The backseat might be more comfortable. You could lie down. I brought a pillow." He sounded like he was trying to be nice, so Stiles bit back the sarcastic comebacks that came to his mind.

Stiles considered it, but it wouldn't help his aching spine at all. "Nah, I'm not really that sleepy anyway."

Derek nodded and turned his attention back to the road. Stiles couldn't help but wonder what kind of music taste Derek had. The few times he had been in the Camaro, no music was on but the guy has to have some music. Because everyone likes music. Even grumpy werewolves with no emotions.

"Hey so you have any music on this?

Derek sighed but didn't answer. Instead he turned on the radio. 

"No, I mean like do you have your own mix?"

Derek stared. "Yes"

"Well play that, then. I hate these crappy radio stations."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You wouldn't like it anyway. It's mostly got old music."

"Just play it. I like any kind of music."

"I said no."

Stiles frowned. This guy is unbelievable. 

"You are free to change the station though."

Stiles snorted. "Oh well, thank you!" He replied, sarcastically as always and turned his gaze out the car window. 

This really is going to be a long ride, he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! This took so long and I'm sorry. But this is probably the most worked on chapter of all. I hope you forgive me and I will never be this late ever again. Just leave your thoughts about the story, or my writing, or anything, down below.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: Minor anxiety/panic attack**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize. In advance. For everything.  
> I'm so so sorry.  
> I plan the plot but then I realized that you cannot plan the emotional flaw. It just happens.  
> I also take so long to write.  
> Also I'm sorry about any mistakes there has been so far, as this is yet un-beta'ed.  
> Enjoy.

Derek stared ahead at the road. He wasn't actually paying attention to it, didn't need to. His werewolf senses allowed him the ability to drive with his eyes closed. Nevertheless, he liked the scenery. He had always liked travelling, driving like this, quietly and peacefully. It helped him clear his mind of anger and confusion that it was usually filled with. He has been driving for about 5 hours now.

 

He looked to his side, at Stiles, who was fast asleep. Had been for the past three or so hours. His face looked peaceful and relaxed, in contrast to the uncomfortable posture. Derek turned his attention back to the road, but his mind was not as unabashed as before. He kept playing back to the last few weeks and all the things that happened between them. He thought about when Stiles injured himself, the time he was so distraught and angry. It was a stupid accident. He had convinced himself that he wouldn't let Stiles get hurt, ever, that Stiles has all the protection he will ever need. He only considered the supernatural threats that haunted Stiles' life ever since Scott was bitten. He always figured that Stiles would've had a long and happy life without any danger if it weren't for werewolves. He didn't take stupid accidents into account until one of them happened. It made him feel helpless. He couldn't save Stiles. He wasn't there. It made him angry at life all over again.

 

And he didn't want to know why.

 

***

 

An hour later, Stiles stirred in his sleep. He opened his eyes to see that it was mid afternoon. He guessed that they were nearing the border and there is more than 20 hours of driving left. He groaned thinking about it. Derek didn't acknowledge him at all. The guy probably knew he was awake before Stiles did. He drank some water and wondered whether they were getting something to eat anytime soon. His stomach growled. Derek threw him a quick glance.

 

"Um, when are we stopping to eat and stuff?"

 

"Not sure. Scott is supposed to call."

 

"Oh.”

 

"In the meantime, I suggest you call your dad."

 

"Right." Stiles grimaced; this is not going to be fun. He hoped his dad would let him off the hook a little bit this time, because they've done this before and this time there's no dangerous business. However, since he's going to have to face it one-way or the other he dialed his dad's number without putting it off for much longer.

 

The sheriff answered on the first ring.

 

"Uh dad? Hey... How's it going?" His attempts to sound cheerful must've failed miserably judging from the eye-roll he got from Derek. He swallowed.

 

"Um...” There was continuous yelling from the other end of the receiver.

 

"Uh Mexico" Stiles replied with sigh.

 

More yelling.

 

"No. Nothing dangerous this time. At all. I promise. We're just heading there to get some information from those hunters. There is no reason to be worried. I promise."

 

"Yeah, we'll be back by tomorrow. Don't worry I have Scott to save me from the crazy stuff." Derek raised his eyes at him pretending to be insulted. Stiles huffed and mouthed "Shut up!" at him.

 

"Kay. Dad, I'll call you later."

 

"Love you too." Stiles hung up the phone and glared at Derek.

 

"You're enjoying this!" He said in an accusing tone.

 

"Whatever. No one asked you to come." Derek replied coolly.

 

"Fuck you too." Stiles decided to bug him for the rest of the ride just for that.

 

***

 

They were supposed to meet the others at some motel that Scott discovered. But judging by the distasteful tone that Lydia said it, Stiles figured that it might not have the best facilities. That turned out to be an understatement when they finally reached it. It was nightfall when they'd reached it but the others had gotten there a few hours before them and had checked all of them in. The rooms seemed to be in a moderate condition but the issue was that there wasn't enough. They had to share them and naturally, Scott and Kira teamed up. So did Lydia and Cora. There was Peter, Derek and Stiles left with two rooms. Peter initiated "I will not be sharing with anyone!" and it wasn't like anyone would feel safe enough to sleep in the same room with Peter anyway. That left Derek and Stiles. Neither of them seemed too thrilled about it but there was no point in complaining. They had to move beds here and there, since apparently there was no maintenance staff around. But it was no trouble because 'Werewolf Super Strength'.

 

Thankfully, Kira had remembered to bring take-out on the way so they all heated it up and settled in Lydia and Cora's room, which was the roomiest.

 

"Well, at least this isn't haunted." Lydia commented, as they started with the food. Stiles snorted. He was feeling jumpy. Which was no surprise after being seated up for so long but he was unusually nervous for some reason. He didn't expect to have to share a room with someone. Especially with Derek. He was looking forward to calming his senses and getting a good night's sleep but now that option just flew out the window. He pushed the anxiety away and joined the light-hearted conversation of the others. Of course, Lydia, who missed nothing, seemed to have noticed his odd behavior. But she also seemed to know the reason (maybe even better than he did). There was a little smirk on her face that Stiles always identified when she had schemed something and it is going exactly her way, and she is curious and excited to see what happened next. It's evil of her to control other people's lives as if they were the actors in her show. But she got the universe on her side, that woman.

 

After dinner, they discuss plans and strategies for the next day. It took everyone to convince Derek and Peter that full on defense mode isn't the way to begin. They already had a multiple abduction strategically planned. It was weird to see them in the same side, to be honest. At the end they had to promise to ensue their plan at even a sign of a threat. After that they lazily laid around until Scott and Kira seemed 'too friendly' with each other. Cora took that as the cue to call it a night and usher everyone out of their room.

 

Stiles entered the room he was sharing with Derek. It wasn't the smallest, and it was normal looking. There were two plain beds at the two sides of the room, one added there by Scott that evening. There was one bedside table and lamp midway through the two beds aligned with the third wall. Lydia had mentioned that the bathrooms were okay. But Stiles didn't even take his shoes before plopping down on one bed and closing his eyes. He wanted to have some minutes to calm himself down and breathe before Derek gets there, suffocating him like he always did. He was still talking to Cora when Stiles had purposefully left.

 

Stiles was starting to drift off when he heard the door open. And he straightened a bit, straining on his elbows. Derek entered the room looking relaxed and peaceful. But his expression changed as he saw Stiles, as if he had forgotten that Stiles would be there and just remembered. He dropped the two small bags that belonged to each of them on the floor and opened one of them, taking out a towel.

 

"I'm going to take a shower."

 

Stiles nodded. And as Derek disappeared behind the bathroom door, he fell back onto the sheets with a small sigh. He stared at the lamp on the table, the dim light adding a dull flavor into the room. He had switched off the light bulb because it was giving him a headache. He sighed again as he got out of bed, slowly, as if trying to hide it from his body that he was in functioning state again. The last thing he wanted was to start jittering again. But he knew it was inevitable. He took his bag and scattered all the contents on the bed. It was hard to find anything otherwise, since he had hurriedly shoved everything in without organizing. He found a towel and a change of clothes and put back the other items into the bag. He sat down on the bed, thinking about the events of the upcoming day. He felt nervous, and though he hadn't made any remarks to the others about this, he didn't expect everything to go as smoothly as everyone hoped. 'Because he's Stiles and bad things happened to him.' The phrase went through his mind almost involuntarily. It's something he always kept telling himself, in the way of explaining why when he felt sad or horrified of or because something. It sounded childish, and when it began, he was one. Stiles knew it was not healthy, he knew now. He knew that the things that happen to him and people around him aren't his fault. He knew he shouldn't blame himself for them. But it just kept happening.

 

Just as he was starting to regret his train of thoughts, Derek walked in. He was only wearing a towel. Stiles stared but that was nothing new. His eyes met Derek’s along the way and Derek seemed disturbed, or worried about something. His eyes were squinched, in a totally non-adorable way. (At all. Nuh-uh.) He was about to ask what was wrong when he said, “Your turn” gesturing at the bathroom. His face now looked neutral so he nodded, took his things and went into the bathroom. He showered slowly, trying to pass time. He would jerk off, but there was a werewolf a wall away and he did not want to be heard. Especially not by Derek. He tried to turn his thoughts off, but when has he ever been good at that? Soon, he had a raging hard-on, and no way to get rid of it. He tried to think about non-sexy things and distract himself. It would be so obvious if he went outside like this. Finally, he splashed cold water from head to toe. That seemed to do the trick. Except the fact that he was full on shivering when he put on his clothes.

Derek raised an eyebrow at him.

“What? I ran out of hot water.” He said as an explanation. And there it was again, the scrunched up face. It reminded him a bit of that guy from the twilight movies. (What? It was for research on vampires. He had to.)

“Okay, what?”

“What?” Derek raised his eyebrows.

“Why do you look like you smell something really bad?”

“Because I do.” Derek replied, while gesturing at him.

“Wha-? Me? Dude, I _just_ showered.”

“Not like that. Something’s wrong. I can smell 10 different _negative_ emotions right now and it’s giving me whiplash.”

“Well, sorry to inconvenience you.” Stiles snapped. He had totally forgotten that werewolves can sense emotions. He wondered if they can smell arousal too. Because that would be a disaster. Especially when Derek is wearing cute pajama pants and no shirt. And looking so pissed. It’s hot.

Wait, why is he pissed?

“No, I meant, what’s wrong?”

“I- Just. Worried about tomorrow.” He shrugged.

Derek nodded. Although he didn’t look like he quite believed him. But he dropped the subject and started talking about what he had in mind for next day _if_ someone were to attack them. He had given it some thought, by the looks of it. It was easy to nod along and laugh and be distracted as Derek went on. But then it was midnight.

 

“Uh we should probably get some sleep.”

Stiles nodded, dreading the long sleepless hours he knew were ahead of him. But he decided to try and think positively because Derek is scrunching his nose adorably again. He didn’t want to reek of anxiety.

“Yeah. Goodnight Derek.”

Derek stared for a second before replying. “Goodnight.”

And they turned off their lights and lay on their separate beds.

 

***

Derek was lying on the bed, god knows how tired he is but he didn’t want to sleep. He could still sense it, the anxiety and the distress of the boy. He knew it gets worse when he’s alone and he wished he could keep talking to him for the whole night. He wished he could distract him some more. Because now that it’s dark, he could feel it getting worse for Stiles again. The panic slowly creeping back to the boy’s mind. He wished he could just turn it off. Then he’d never know, but it still wouldn’t mean that Stiles is okay.

Derek sighed heavily without thinking about it. He heard Stiles turn toward him on the other bed.

“Derek.”

His voice sounded breathy. Derek couldn’t respond immediately but Stiles knew he was listening.

“Please. Come over here. Please.”

Derek’s legs moved on their own accord and he was standing before he knew what he was doing. But he stopped to reconsider before he took a step forward. Stiles’ voice was desperate and _so_ sad that it made Derek’s heart clench. He wondered if he would help or make things worse but then he was already sitting next to Stiles on his bed.

“You okay?”

Stiles didn’t respond. It was a stupid question. “Tell me what’s wrong?” Derek tried again.

Stiles was looking at him from where he was lying down. Through the dark, Derek could see his face. His eyes, they looked tired and sad. Like he has already given up. Like he’s tired of fighting every minute of every fucking day. And there was need somewhere hidden behind them. Like he was waiting for something good happen to him, for once.

Then he straightened up and sat next to Derek, crossing his legs. His hair was messy and his cheeks were flushed. His forehead was lightly sweating. His lips were slightly apart and he was looking straight at Derek. His eyes were so, _so_ beautiful that all he could do was stare back at them. 

Stiles just shook his head. He didn’t know what to say, how to explain. Derek sort of got that. So he just nodded. And he just sat there looking at Stiles.

Stiles was looking at him too. And after a little time, he looked down at his hands. Derek wished he knew what he was thinking of, so that he could fend them away. Those horrible, haunting thoughts.

When Stiles lifted his head again, his eyes were filled with tears. He eyes seem to wander, looking anywhere but at Derek. As if he’s ashamed. As if he afraid that Derek would think less of him after seeing him weak. If only he knew.

So when the tears started to stream down his pale face, all that Derek could do was wipe them. He brought his hands up to his cheek and wiped them away. It hurt, seeing Stiles cry. He wished he could steal all Stiles’ pain and feel it himself instead.

Stiles was crying now. More and more tears welling up in his eyes. Derek grabbed hold of his shoulder by his other hand and tugged him close. It wasn’t long before Stiles was sobbing into his neck, hands clinging to him tightly. He was trembling. Derek put his hands around him and held him, trying to comfort him. He stayed like that until the tears subsided a little.

“I’m sorry.” Sorry I don’t know how to not make you cry.

“It’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize.” His voice had a broken edge to it from crying.

“I know. But you’re crying. And I’m sorry.”

Stiles didn’t reply right away. He rested his forehead on Derek’s shoulder, which was soaked by now, and just breathed. Stiles was weary from all the sobbing. And his eyes were red and puffed-up and beautiful when he looked at Derek again.

“If I stopped crying, would you stop feeling guilty about it?”

“I never said-“

“I know you didn’t. But I know you somehow found a way to blame yourself.”

It was now Derek’s turn to look at his hands. How do you reply to something like that anyway?

Stiles sighed. But it was not as heavy as it could’ve been before. Derek felt a hand touch his cheek and he couldn’t help but flinch. Long and slender fingers that he knew all too well were stroking his cheekbones. It felt so good that he leaned into the touch and looked at Stiles’ eyes. There was a soft smile more in his eyes than lips. And they held something. Everything. All the things he ever wanted. Derek was gazing down at that as he heard his own mouth betray him.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.
> 
> I'm horrible at titles so if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments.
> 
> Thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Derek was looking at him with this expression that he had never seen before as he realized it was the first time he said those words aloud. He saw confusion, amazement and also hurt."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and action, basically. 
> 
> I will update more often from now on!  
> Still unbeta'd, sorry.

Stiles saw the panic in Derek’s eyes. It only took two seconds for Derek’s mind to catch up with him before he started freaking out. Stiles so desperately wanted Derek to know that there was no reason whatsoever for Derek to be scared. Because he felt the exact same way. Was Derek so clueless as to not notice something so obvious?

Derek stared down at his hands and opened his mouth, struggling for words.

“I- I don’t know what-“ Derek shook his head in defeat. “I’m sorry if-“

“Hey” Stiles whispered. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry. Please don’t back away now.”

Derek looked back at him. He looked confused. As if he cannot believe there was even a distinct possibility that Stiles may like him back. _Love_ him back. The self-hating bastard he is. “But-“

“But what?”

“We- Stiles, we can’t.”

“What?”

“We can’t do this, Stiles. We can’t be together.”

Stiles felt his heart sink.

“Why not?” He felt like he was going to cry again. “Didn’t you mean what you just said?”

“I did. Of course I did. It’s just-“

“Just what?” Stiles threw back, making Derek flinch.

“You don’t want to be with me Stiles. I’m not good for you.”

“Don’t be stupid Derek. I know you. I love you.” In contrast to his words, he was half yelling.

Derek was looking at him with this expression that he had never seen before as he realized it was the first time he said those words aloud. He saw confusion, amazement and also hurt.

“I- I’m too old! Your father would never-“

“I’m not underage anymore. My dad will eventually get over it!” Stiles stood up from his bed and Derek sighed.

“Stiles.”

“Derek!”

“Stiles, please.”

“What, Derek? What do you want me to do? Should I just pretend that this isn’t real? Like you do? What do you get out of torturing yourself like that, anyway?”

Derek shook his head without looking at him.

“Stop doing this to yourself Derek. Stop depriving yourself of things. I know you do that. You’re allowed to be happy. When are you going to believe me? I know you, and I know that you’re not half as bad a person as you think you are.”

Derek didn’t look up. He had a pained expression in his face. And it hurt, so much, to see him like this.

“Please stop punishing yourself.” He pleaded.

When Derek did nothing in response, Stiles slowly moved to him and carefully placed himself on his lap, watching for any indications of dislike on Derek’s face. Derek didn’t try to stop him. He let Stiles straddle him and cup his face with both hands, run his fingers over his cheeks. He closed his eyes and gripped Stiles’ waist as Stiles finally brought his lips to Derek’s.

It wasn’t rushed, or desirous. It was slow and sweet yet overwhelmingly intimate. It was long, but not suggestive. After what felt like hours, they broke apart. Both of them smiling at each other like they can’t help it. And they couldn’t. And Stiles still cannot believe that this guy would kiss him. Or _love_ him. How crazy is that?

But there was Derek, holding him like he is the most precious thing on earth. And he looked _so_ happy. Sure, Stiles had seen him smile, on brief occasions. But not so up close. And never so brightly. Stiles didn’t think that anyone has seen Derek’s face and described it as happy in the entire time that they’ve known each other. Until now.

They stared at each other for a few more minutes. With Stiles’ hand stroking the back of Derek’s neck and Derek touching his nose to Stiles’, nuzzling. Both lost in each other’s eyes and smiling like idiots. They had a long day ahead and Stiles assumed Derek wanted to take this slow, so they ended up just sleeping, wrapped up in each other on Stiles’ motel bed. Stiles claimed to have always known that Derek was a cuddler. Derek just laughed, and laid a soft kiss on the back of Stiles’ neck.

 

****

 

The next morning, Stiles opened his eyes to an empty bed he can barely see from the faint morning light coming through the blinds of the motel room window. He could hear the shower running. It reminded him the last night’s events and if anyone was there they’d see the stress lines disappearing from his forehead and a relaxed expression what could almost be called a smile cross his face. But then he realized it’s the morning he had been dreading so much yesterday and his face was back to what it usually always looks like; stressed as fuck.

Stiles heard the bathroom door open and was greeted by the glorious view of Derek’s body, wet and on display, covered only by a towel hanging low on his waist. As if he saw Stiles’ eyes travelling up and down his body, Derek had a smug smile on when Stiles looked back at his face again. Stiles blushed.

“’Morning” Stiles smiled, pushing back the worry he felt.

Derek nodded, still grinning. Which was actually very weird, considering that this is Derek Hale and he is (or was) not likely to smile ever, much less at- Stiles looked at his phone- 5.30am in the morning. Shit, that’s right, he had to get ready.

 

*****

There was a single droplet of blood trickling down the side of Derek’s face. Of all the things – the fighting, the yelling, the pain, the fear, the _madness_ \- his mind decided to focus on that, the drop of blood. Down Derek’s face. His eyes were closed. Oh God.

He felt the panic rising from his throat, his mind going blank, hands starting to shake. He tried to swallow it down and push through because right now would be the definition of bad timing to have a panic attack. But it doesn’t work like that.

He felt his knees sting as he tried to regain control of his breathing, his hands touched the rough ground beneath him. He tried to yell for help but his throat was completely dry and no sound came out of his mouth. No one would hear him anyway.

Around him, the fight was raging on but he no longer knew why or how it started, he could no longer tell who’s winning and who’s losing. He’s not sure if he cared anymore anyway.

And with that thought, his vision went dark. His body felt numb and he only barely heard someone yelling his name, as though from far away.

*****

“Stiles! Stiles!” Scott’s voice was laced with sheer panic. “Wake up. STILES!”

Scott turned Stiles to his side to lift him up and only then did he realize that he had a wound on his side, just below his elbow. There was a pool of dirty blood underneath him. It was a claw mark, and it was bleeding. It probably isn’t fatal but he’s obviously lost too much blood or he should be awake right now.

He was getting Stiles up halfway through when he felt a sharp pain go down his spine, starting from his neck. He groaned, and despite his best efforts, fell down with Stiles on top of him, feeling completely helpless. He failed. He failed his pack and he failed himself. He couldn’t save anyone. His pain did not reside and he blacked out soon after.

*****

Kira felt utterly lost.

Not in the literal sense. No, she didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She kept fighting but she didn’t see the point. And she hated that.

Whatever the thing that probably wanted to tear her intestines apart didn’t care though. It kept lashing out, one hit after another and didn’t seem to be even remotely tired.

She wondered how long she could keep this up as she swung her sword, ready for the next blow.

*****

Cora hated losing.

And the only time she’d felt more like a loser than right now is when she’d come home to find it burning in flames and her family dead. She does not intend to willfully lose this fight like that. She will fight back until she isn’t losing anymore.

Which was her final thought before she clawed the throat of the creature in front of her and went over to help Kira.

*****

Lydia never liked not knowing.

Not knowing whether her friends are all right. Not knowing what’s going on. But there was nothing she could do except wait. So she waited. She waited until it didn’t make sense anymore. Till it’s almost sundown but there was still no sign of anyone, no news from them.

And then she picked up the phone.

*****

Back in the battlefield, Derek was completely beaten up, wounded and immobile. But he was still alive. His could still sense what’s going on, smell the blood and hear the hearts beating. But he was having a hard time focusing on anything since sometimes the pain got too much that he had to bite his lips to keep from yelling out. He could barely keep up with all the fighting, so he just listened to the pulses of his friends. All he wanted was his pack to be alive. He knew some of them were down, hurt and unconscious. But as long as they were still breathing, there was hope.

So he listened, and counted the heartbeats. Some of them were racing, with fear and adrenaline, the others steady or slow, weary or unconscious. It helped him calm down too and he felt his own pulse slowing down to a steady rhythm while listening to the others.

That is, until one of them stopped.

*****

Back in Beacon Hills, John couldn’t get any sleep. He knew that his son’s little trip was not supposed to be dangerous at all. But since when does this group of kids had things go exactly the way they hoped it would?

He wasn’t crazy. It was perfectly reasonable to worry. But he tried to not be too paranoid about it. Stiles had promised to call as soon as they left the hunters’ place. So he decided to wait for him to call before sending an entire search party to Mexico.

After finally having some junk food for lunch, John sat before the TV with the his phone in his hand, hoping it would ring soon. He must’ve fallen asleep because when he heard the phone ring it was dark outside. He at the phone screen and squinted, wondering why Lydia would call him instead of Stiles. Oh god.

He answered quickly, trying not to think.

“Hello?”

His engulfing fear of what he’s about to hear was evident in his voice.

“Mr. Stilinski?”

She didn’t sound like she’s got good news. In fact, she sounded as scared as he felt right now.

“Lydia? What’s wrong?”

“They aren’t back yet. It’s been too long and I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, where are you?”

“I’m in this motel. I tried calling them but-“

She was almost crying.

“Sheriff, I think you should send help.”

*****

Derek heard sirens.

At least he thought so. Or maybe it was a ringing in his ears. He realized he had blacked out for god knows how long but he didn’t feel like he’s injure enough to be dying. Just a few bone deep cuts here and there. Could’ve handled that any day. The thought almost made him laugh. He felt sick afterwords. His breath quickened and he coughed up something, blood probably, just when someone grabbed him up. They were saying something, or asking, but he couldn’t quite focus on the words. He wanted to ask them about the others but he was too scared to know. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it right now if someone had-

If someone is…

So he fell asleep listening to a continuous roar of an engine.

*****

When Derek opened his eyes, the first sight that greeted him was a familiar pale ceiling; the Beacon Hills hospital. He’s been here on numerous occasions despite his werewolf healing abilities. He hated the place with an increasing passion every time.

It was more a place where people died, than healed, for him.

He breathed with an effort and tried to move his head to his side, though it felt very stiff. There was someone in the chair beside the wall of his hospital room. They were fast asleep, head bent. It wasn’t Cora, and he felt his throat tighten. It wasn’t Stiles either.

He sat up too quickly and ripped off the little tubes that were twined around him. For some reason, he was nervous, his heart rate picking up, as he waited to meet the reality who is yet a stranger to his mind, not ready for bad news again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm new to writing action, and my approach was cinematic and a little strange, so I would love to know your thoughts on it.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfic ever.  
> Tell me what you think.
> 
> Sterek is love.  
> Sterek is life.


End file.
